New Orleans, Louisiana
December 27, 2017
Royal Orleans Hotel
7:00 PM
Melvin Baptiste’s bar in the lobby of The Royal Orleans was. His best deserted customer, a man he knew well, sat alone sipping a Stoli martini and nervously pecking at his cell phone. “Come now or else!”
The night was brutally cold, an oddity in New Orleans. Heavy clouds drifted across the moon like a herd of wild horses. On St. Louis Street, empty taxis idled in front of the hotel, waiting for fares who would not come. Wandering tourists took shelter indoors. Even the carriage horse drivers had given up and gone home. It was the kind of tar black night that gave Melvin the shivers.
An hour earlier, David Clement settled in at his favorite table by the Royal Street door, where his back-to-the-wall perch allowed him to see anyone entering or leaving the Rib Room and bar. He was dressed casually in Seven jeans, a Loro Piana sweater and pricy Gucci loafers, but his exhausted eyes were heavy, and his jovial demeanor had cannonballed into the river. Probably too much Christmas or an excess of eggnog and roast duck. Whatever his disease, a martini would cure. Melvin served him quickly, without conversation, then returned to his place behind the bar.
So far, Melvin’s tip jar was empty; and, except for Mr. Clement, would be so at the end of the evening. No matter, tomorrow the Sugar Bowl crowd would flow into the French Quarter like a football tidal wave and chase down every available ounce of alcohol. For now, he was grateful for an easy night. Finally, he spoke, pointing to the windows. “Looka there, Mr. Clement. Outside! It’s snowing.”
David Clement glanced over his shoulder. A light dusting of white particles fluttered against the massive wall of fanlight windows overlooking the street. “I’ll be damned,” he said. “Haven’t seen anything like that in years.”
“We had some when I was a kid,” Melvin laughed. “You can guess how long ago that was.”
“I went to school in Boston,” David said. “I’ve had enough snow to last a lifetime.”
“They gonna close the bar soon, Mr. Clement. You want another drink?”
“Looks like a slow night, Melvin.”
“Yes sir. Only one table in the dining room, but they drinkin’ some kinda fancy Champagne.”
“I’m glad somebody feels like celebrating.”
“They better get it done soon, cause after the game, some folks ain’t gonna have nothin’ to celebrate.”
“You put money on it?”
“No, sir. Every penny I make stays in my pocket. You?”
“Those days are over, Melvin. I wish I could still smoke here.”
“Smokin’ days are over too, Mr. Clement. You still carrying Cubans.”
“Yes,” he patted his jacket pocket. “Don’t tell.”
“You waiting for somebody, sir? I’ll hang around if you need me.”
“One more. If the idiot shows up after that, he doesn’t deserve a drink.”
When his cell buzzed, Clement closed his eyes and spoke softly. Melvin wasn’t listening anyway. He’d learned long ago to ignore anything in his bar except a fist fight, a drug deal, or an aggressive prostitute. After a few minutes, Clement’s voice rose.
“You’re a fool,” he said. “I don’t care what you want!”
Melvin unfolded a bar towel and began rearranging glasses. His hands hovered over his register as if it was of prime interest. David Clement spoke urgently now. His ear lobes reddened; his eyes fired sparks. “Five minutes, no more,” he hissed, then jammed the phone into his jacket and waved Melvin to his table.
“You ok, Mr. Clement?”
“Never better, Melvin! Cancel my order.” He stood, then dropped a pair of twenties on the table. “Keep the change.”
Melvin scooped up the bills and watched as Clement pocketed his wallet, slipped on his overcoat, and turned towards the upper lobby. He reached inside his uniform and withdrew a silver crucifix, holding it between his thumb and forefinger. He ran his fingers over the figure of Christ, as Clement’s footsteps pattered down the corridor then up the steps to the elevators. “Bad night,” he said aloud. ‘Somethin’ ain’t right.”
Averyell Writes 
Very noir! You have a very good writing voice!
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Can’t wait for the continuation.
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Wow! Can you write, AK!!!
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Oioohhh !!! Good one !!!! Looking forward to chapter 2 !!!
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Descriptions that place the reader in the setting and conversations that make the reader feel guilty of eavesdropping make for a very interesting story. Love it.
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Hooked again!!
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Hooked again? Me too! But now we’ve gotta wait for the dunnit before we get to the whodunnit?! : )
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Thanks Blood Red in final edit
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In “Blood Red” your character has a SIG 38. Having some little knowledge of firearms, I think I can assure you that SIG has never made a ’38’. If this was meant to indicate a .38 caliber cartridge, it would indicate that it was a revolver that your character was carrying. SIG, to my knowledge and their history website, has never made a revolver. (The .38 cartridge is a standard size bore, indicating 0.38 inch bullet diameter, actually it is .357 inch, but that’s another discussion) There are several .38 cartridges but it is most commonly used to depict the .38 Special by Smith and Wesson. A number of manufacturers do make revolvers for this cartridge; S & W, Colt, Ruger, and Taurus….there are many more less known manufacturers.
If you intended to indicate that he had a semi-auto pistol, as opposed to a revolver, then SIG does make a model named Model 938, which is a small ‘pocket’ pistol chambered for the 9mm. Luger cartridge. This would be a logical choice for someone who intended to carry a handgun that has adequate power and is easily concealable. Not sure of your timeline for this story, but the Model 938 has only been available for the last 5 years or so.
This is a minor criticism and I hope you realize that is was only offered in the expectation that you would want factual information in your wonderful storytelling. Most of your readers would not know the difference noted above, but I guarantee everyone like me (so-called ‘gun nuts’) would notice and send you derogatory emails assailing your lack of knowledge about firearms. Please know that I have enjoyed immensely all of your writing that I have read and only have sent you this with the best of intentions.
Bill Batson
Anchorage, Alaska
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Thanks for the info. Another gun guy had the same reaction. I’ll be changing the SIG to something else. The Clement character is carrying an expensive, upscale gun. He suggested a Kimber. I’m not sure that’s the best choice because it doesn’t seem like a type of gun many people would know. I need help with this decision. What do you think?
PS – I also need an appropriate cop gun.
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Bill Batson is right on. WHAT YEAR IS THE STORY SET? This is important, as in the past 2 or 3 decades, what people carry, what thugs use, and what police officers carry as their “duty weapon” have changed significantly. I sent you a pic of my Kimber 380 – very expensive and concealable – and with a hot cartridge is ale to “do the job.” But I carry, er… um… IF I CARRIED, it would be a Hellcat 9mm and at times a Kimber .45. The .45 is heavy – NOT a pocket gun BUT could be a purse or shoulder bag carry. Nowadays, police carry a 9mm or 10mm GLOCK semi-auto pistol. LOTS of thugs and civilians to too. But, for the story’s sake (especially your male readers), having different arms on different characters would add interest – and street cred to Miz Averyell! : ) Bill, what do you think? Sig Sauer makes a nice pocketable .380 cal semi-auto too.
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Thanks for your input. Blood Red begins in 2017.
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